What does it mean to be and feel masculine?

michael

thank you, first of all, for your inquiry.

I also have some experience with violence, both overt and insidious, by both genders. Much confusion and delays in emotional development. Much blindness in how to identify legitimate wants and needs from illegitimate, which i see as those that were meant to be addressed as a child, and not wanting to be met by adults for another “adult.”

And i see that violence begets violence, even in the revenge-fantasies and recoils initiated in response. Even victory is but a link in the chain…

it took many many years to sift and sort through this, and i still get kicked in the teeth sometimes, as i do not take kindly to victim-bashing, and rise up with some ire, there, when i see it.

which is not such a popular stance, i have learned… ;-)

but i am finally grateful for all i have been asked to endure, and gladdened that adversity seems to lend more dimension to development, somehow leveraging into a deeper humanity, helpless in compassion.

it took me longest to forgive “men.” To stop lumping them all together, dehumanizing them. I saw everything they did as a threat for many years, whether they looked at me or not, held a door or not, asked me out or not — though inside, my heart cried out to heal them, and for the healing i felt they had for me, that they could only love me, if they would only see me for who i am.

Very mixed-up messages! which did not bode well for peace of mind. But it taught me that the only one needing healing was myself, and i then could allow “men” to become “themselves,” without the obscuration of my conditioning.

that was a relief! and truly broke my heart open, flushed out the toxins…

gosh, so much to say, but not knowing if i wander far from your point? And i am wondering, since this was posted in November, perhaps you have settled this inquiry?

mary ;-)